18 punishments for people who dont update their calendars

18 punishments for people who don’t update their calendars 18 punishments for people who don’t update their calendars Congratulations! You found that one-hour block in the next two weeks when everyone’s calendar is open. You send the meeting invite only to have Ben decline.“I’m actually out of the office that day,” he says. “Could you find another time?”But Ben, you wonder, how will I find another time if your calendar bears no relation to your actual availability? Here are some appropriate ways to punish Ben and colleagues like him who don’t keep their calendar up to date.1. Removal from the office food email listAre there leftover bagels from the Accounting staff meeting? Yes, but Ben will never know.2. Switch the regular and decaf coffee potsEveryone else reaches for the orange pot this week while Ben yawns his way through his caffeine headaches.3. Adjust Ben’s calendar from Eastern Standard to Yakutsk TimeHe’ll arrive promptly to any meetings in central Russia!4. Switch to past tense whenever discussing him, especially if he’s in earshot“Oh yeah, Ben, he worked in Marketing didn’t he? Never really saw him in the office much though.”5. Change the language for his keyboardSwitching to  French  is classic, but the Turkish keyboard is just similar enough to confuse him for days.6. Move Ben’s desk photos to other areas of the officeHis wife’s portrait now lives on the CEO’s desk and his snapshot of Sir-Barks-A-Lot is above the copier. It’ll be a great icebreaker at the holiday party!7. Sign Ben up for every newsletter you can findHe’ll get updates on everything from the local bakery’s daily scone selection to the tour dates of a hard core punk band he’s never heard of.8. Invite him to a conference call that’s just hold musicIdeally it will be Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping” on loop.9. Add new family photos to his desk“What do you mean these aren’t your kids? You’ve been talking about Kimmy’s game-winning home run all month!”10. Unscrew the light above his cubicle just a littleBen will have to check the Facilities Team’s ca lendar to see when they’re available to stop the flickering.11. Host remote control helicopter races around his cubicleIt just happens to be the area with the most open air. Management did say they wanted you to embrace your creativity!12. Re-label his lunch in the office fridgeNo, this isn’t Ben’s Low-fat Mango Greek yogurt. It’s Benita’s.13. Hold his coffee mug hostageSend ransom notes scrawled on printouts of Ben’s Outlook calendar.14. Add spoilers for his favorite TV shows to your meeting invitationsLocation: Conference Room also Tyrion Lannister dies by ice dragon15. Start a rumor that his cubicle is hauntedFollow up by shivering every time you walk by and asking about the old woman who works on his computer during his lunch breaks. Bonus points if you leave messages from her on his voicemail.16. Relegation to the worst seat in the conference roomYou know the one, where you can’t pull your chair in all the way and have to crane your neck to see the  presentation s lides. Make sure it’s the only open seat when Ben walks in.17. Respond to all his emails with “New phone, who dis?”At a certain point he’ll have to respect your commitment to the bit.18. Everyone meets without himNo matter what his ego says, Ben isn’t that important.This post was originally published on TheCooperReview.com.